(Excerpt from “When Destiny Calls”)

When the year 2003 began I had no idea that it would turn out to be, in many ways, the worst year of my life. Throughout much of the year I battled with a strange and seemingly incurable illness. It sapped me of strength and energy, took away my appetite, and eventually brought me to the very gates of death. In the early stages I sought help from some local hospitals for outpatient treatment (I could not possibly afford to actually stay in a hospital for several days). After a while I depended mostly upon natural remedies that were cheap and easy to obtain. I was willing to try almost anything in hope of relief from that terrible affliction.

As the year progressed, I lost more and more weight until I began to resemble a shell of my former self. Many days I had no strength to work, and my savings began to run out. As the sickness gripped me, I lost more and more weight, eventually looking more like a half-starved homeless person. Walking became difficult which caused a problem due to money being so tight. During those days I was often forced to walk long distances rather than taking a bus or motorbike, just to save money desperately needed for a little food, to keep me from going to bed hungry. Sometimes I would have to stop and find a place to sit for a while, simply to catch my breath. More troublesome than the fatigue, however, was the mental fog that often engulfed me. Sometimes I would experience a sort of blackout, and it required a serious effort just to reset my mind and determine where I was and what I needed to do next. If anybody had followed me around in those days and seen the physical and mental exhaustion that I suffered from, they probably would have expected at worst my death, or at best, me turning into a lost, homeless lady, living on the streets with no future.

 Just when things seemed they could not possibly get worse, they got worse. In the fall of that year, I took some “bitter leaf” to try to purge myself, hoping this would bring me renewed health. This natural “medicine” is basically a means of inducing about a day’s worth of diarrhea. After taking the normal dose nothing happened. But by the second day it worked almost too well. I did not merely get a day’s worth of diarrhea; I then experienced diarrhea which lasted for a full week. But in addition to the diarrhea, I began vomiting. For seven days I was constantly stooling and vomiting, with symptoms like the disease of cholera. Whether this was cholera piled on top of my other sickness, I cannot say, but it certainly had the effect of cholera, which was dehydration. I attempted to drink water to make up for all the liquids I was losing, but I could not keep up. I had no phone in those days to call anyone. While mobile phones had just begun to appear in Nigeria at that time, only the “big men” and rich people could afford one, certainly not me.

Weaker and Weaker

My weakness became so acute that I lost the strength to do anything at all but lie on my bed and occasionally drag myself to the bathroom or get up and drink a little water. No one called on me or knocked at the door during those awful days. I felt terribly alone and began to fear I would die, alone in my room. I could hear noises outside my room from time to time, but I never bothered to call out to anyone. I hardly had the strength. I could not afford to go to the hospital. I had no money to buy medicine. All I could do was to lie on my bed and hope – hope that I would get over this, hope that strength would return to my rail-thin body, hope that somehow, miraculously, I would have a future where all of this would become just a painful memory.

A few times, I could feel my spirit leaving my body, like a shadow rising up from where I was lying. It seemed like I could see myself lying on my bed, but before I went very far, I would shake myself or give out a little cry, and the sensation would disappear. Until the next time. By the last few days, I was passing into unconsciousness and then waking from my coma. I had fallen to the floor, without even the strength to climb up into my bed. Despite my fervent hopes, no one knocked on my door, and I was totally alone with my fears and my terrible weakness. I had no strength to pray aloud, so I prayed in my mind for the Lord to heal me. I moved my lips in my feeble attempts to pray but did not have the capacity to make any words come out of my mouth.

By the seventh day since the diarrhea and vomiting had begun, it happened. This time there was no warning, no sensation of my spirit leaving my body. Suddenly, all my suffering was over, all pain was gone, and I was in the most beautiful place I had ever seen in my life. I felt wonderful, without any sensation of sickness or weakness. But strangely I was alone.

I was in a beautiful flower garden, and music was playing. Invisible singers were singing, and the music was… well, I guess you could say heavenly. This was such a contrast to my experience over the last week, but strangely at the time I could not even remember the terrible ordeal I had just experienced. I was happy, at peace, and amazed at the beauty of this wonderful place where I found myself. Strangely it seemed as if the music were coming from the trees and the flowers which were everywhere. This was not like anything I had ever seen in Nigeria!

The music was soft and so very relaxing. It could have been therapeutic for my troubled spirit, had I had a remembrance of those days of sickness and dying alone in my little Lagos room, but as I said, it never crossed my mind. I had no memory of who I had been, what I had done, or what I had suffered. I was simply me, enjoying this lovely place and the soothing music that seemed to emanate from every tree, every flower, and every blade of grass. From what I learned later, it was not that the trees and flowers were singing; they were acting more like speakers for music that was originating from another place. But at the time I never thought about that.

The Beauty of Heaven

The grass under my feet was not merely green; it was super-green, a vivid green such as we do not see on this earth. All the colors were bold and far more vibrant than anything of which our earth can boast. As I took in the beauty and loveliness of this garden, people began to appear. They seemed to be coming to see me and welcome me to this place. They talked and laughed among themselves and were wonderfully pleasant. They were happy to see me, and happy to be with each other. They were just a joyous, friendly people, and they made this beautiful garden all the more appealing. I was satisfied to be here; indeed, more than satisfied. I was totally at peace. Gorgeous surroundings, beautiful, aromatic flowers, gentle, sweet music, happy, friendly companions… what could be better?

Suddenly an angel appeared on the left side of the garden. Walking up to me with purpose, He called me by my name, saying, “Benedicta, welcome to heaven. I have been assigned to show you around.” And then, giving me little time to respond, he said with authority but kindness, “Come with me, please.” He began to walk, and I obediently followed. The others walked along with us. We did not walk long before we came to a large tree, the tallest of all the trees of the garden, which was filled with luscious red fruit.

As we approached the tree, it slowly bent over so that the people could eat its fruit. It was almost like a party, with everyone laughing, talking, and enjoying the fruit. But I did not have a chance to relish the party for long. In fact, I never even tasted the fruit. Before I could pluck one of those beautiful fruits, the angel and I found ourselves in another place. Now the garden was gone, my companions were gone, and I was alone with the angel. We were at a vantage point which overlooked a large and beautiful city. The buildings were stunning. They appeared to be made of gold, and they were dazzling to look at. There was one very large building directly in front of us, and the angel told me that in that building music was being played and sung by angels day and night. The music never stopped, and this was, in fact, the source of the music I had been hearing ever since I entered this amazing place. The music went forth continually from this beautiful building and filled all of heaven…